Peter Griffen, the man, the father, the legend.

A lot of people, over a lot of different life times have came up with their own definitions of 'Legend' such as "a story handed down through generations which is believed to be historial." and "A legend is an old man with a cane known for what he used to do." even "a person whose fame or notoriety makes him a source of exaggerated or romanticized tales or exploits" but I can sum up the definition of it in three words 'Peter Lowenbrau Griffin.'

Peter is a middle aged man, married to Lois Griffin and has three children, Meg, Chris, and Stewie, who make his living in a brewery. His best friend is his talking dog Brian, and other close friends are Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland

"How?" you ask, "Is an average looking, middle aged, suburban man, possibly qualified to be given the title of a Legend?"

Simple, just read on and find out why he's eligible :)

Peter has strange relationships with everyone he knows, especially his family, but he does show affection for them all, well that is apart from two people, the first is his nemisis The Giant Chicken, who he often has prolonged fights with, and they can never generally remember the reason, and then there is his daughter Meg. She is often a victim of his abuse, such as hitting her, shooting her, trying to hit on her when he decided he wanted to be a redneck, and excluding her from bonding time with him and Chris who were writing a script, and then he loudly made fun of her body odour. However he does become very protective of her in one episode when she nearly drowns, peter says "She's my only daughter, Lois. She needs to be protected, like a rare gemstone, or the herniated scrotum of an older gentleman." But to be honest, I enjoy when he is being mean to her! So much funnier, here's a few lines of Peter picking on his daughter-

"Every time my daughter opens her mouth, I just wanna' punch her in the face, she's really annoying."

"Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness, Star Trek was here first."

(Peter uses a lighter to make a fire on Meg's head)

Joe: Hey, Meg don't be such a "hothead".

Meg: Huh?

Cleveland: Meg, you look "hot".

Meg: What?

Peter: Meg, I just lit your scalp on fire.

Peter may not be the brightest crayon in the box, in fact in one episode 'petarded' he discovered that he was actually mentally retarded (of course he used this to his advantage) but nonetheless he has had many crazy ass jobs over the years, in fact too many to list, so here is some of the more entertaining ones to show just how extraordinary he is :)

Space cowboy

Mayor of New Quahog

Death's substitute

Theater producer/director

Reality show actor

Undercover drug investigator

Petorian President

Tobacco lobbyist

Renaissance fair jouster

Bumblescum sheriff

Church of the Fonz priest

A sumo wrestler

Pro football player (center for the New England Patriots)

Erotic book author

Channel 5 News special reporter

Superstore USA employee

Servant at Carter Pewterschmidt's mansion

Flight attendant

Calvin Klein model

Counselor at the bulimic clinic

Ghostbuster

Bartender at the center of the earth

Member of Simon and Garfunkel

George Harrison's security guard (on the night of his stabbing by an intruder)

Painter of the Sistine Chapel

singer in a barbershop-style group performing musical diagnoses for terminally ill patients

Entertainer for terminally ill kids

Housekeeper and a Magical nanny (Mary Poppins)

If having that many jobs in a lifetime doesn't hold some record, then Obama isn't the first black president!

As you've gathered by now, Peter is a very troublesome and mischievous, making him even funnier :) he comes off with the most ridiculous of sayings ever, that have you rolling on the floor with laughter! Some of Griffins funny business and antics are as follows:

What am I supposed to do with all my great ideas? Put 'em in a tub and clean myself with them? That's what soap is for, Lois.

Gays don't vommit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they came to this country from France.

I'd say, 'Come again?' and I'd laugh as I said, 'Come.'

Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung."

Hey hey, where the hell is that Peter Griffin? He told me he'd give me a hundred dollars if I took off all my clothes off. (Drunk peter talking about himself)

Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house you have to clean it.

Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.

All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split... And then one of you die.

Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please save our dog.

I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.

See, Meg, things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.

A guy at work bought a car out of the paper. Ten years later, Bam! Herpes.

You know those Germans; if you don't join the party, they come get you.

Chris, everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.

Lois, when I'm through with them, our kids will be so smart, they'll be able to program their own VCRs without spilling piping hot gravy all over myself.

Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.

I always wanted a brother or a sister. Instead, I got a broster.

Whatever kills me will make me stronger.

This family believes in the Easter bunny. He died for our sins in that helicopter crash

For every five seconds I do not have flapjacks, I shall break one window.

You can't ask me to make dinner, Lois. That's like asking me to choose between Sarah Jessica Parker and Kirsten Dunst in a "hot body, weird face" contest, it can't be done.

You know they say Chuck Norris is so tough, there's no chin under his beard... there is only another fist.

Lois, before I found these movies, women only made me cry through my penis. Now they make me cry through my eyes.

I'm abstinent Lois, it's all in these pamphlets Meg brought home from school. Sex turns straight people gay, and Gays into Mexicans, everyone goes down a notch.

You're right, we've got to find this Marilyn Manson and I've gotta give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.

Another trait i find i love about peter is he never fails to step over the boundaries with people, unfortunately though I've started picking up things for him so I often find myself in situations were i'm invading people's personal space, business, and just generally creeping them out. Here's a few examples of peter :)

(Peter has to get a prostate exam, and is unaware of how the procedure is performed, so thinks he is being taken advantage of)

My God, we've all been victims of Dr. Hartman's "prostate exam." Well gentlemen, the abuse stops here. I will not turn a brown eye to this. I am gonna sue that bastard and make him pay out the ass. No if's, and's, or butt's. I'm gonna be really anal about this.... Sphincter.

(Peter had got bullied by Randy Fulcher for all his childhood, now in his mid life, he seeks him out and brings chris to teach him to stick up for himself)

Chris: No dad you can't hit him!

Fulcher: Yeah, I have MS.

Peter: Oh, ya hear that Chris? This guy's got a monkey scrotum and he's braggin' about it. Now ya really got me mad.

(This is when peter gets an invitation for a dinner being thrown in his honour, only when he gets there he discovers it not quite!)

I assumed it was for being able to fart the alphabet, which I almost did before I pooped the "s." Owell, everyone was upset on the bus long before that.

(After Lois calls him childish)

If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert!

(To a little girl in the street selling lemonade)

Oh yeah? Watcha sellin'? Meth, ex, crack, dust, coke, block, crystal????? IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? I DON'T THINK SO!!!!

(Peter decided to narrate his own life, out loud)

I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life...(Lois punches him) I woke several hours later in a daze.

Peter has went through many fads in his adulthood, such as His obsession with A vinyl disc of 'Bird is the word' and the time when he wouldn't take of his onsie, even when going to work Or the time when he convinced himself he was a pirate, and caused havoc all over Quahog! But its just these unique traits, and crazy ass ideas that make us love and appreciate Peter Griffin, for exactly who he is, no more, no less, just an everyday legend.

Below is the link to watch every episode ever of family guy :) Enjoy!

http://www.familyguyepisodes.tv/family_guy_episode_guide.html#season10